September 2011
6 posts
Ask, Tell - For Now
The repeal of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy regarding sexuality has recently been repealed by President Obama in a move long-awaited by many of our servicemen and women. Long awaited, in fact, by many people not even in the military, like myself.
I have long held fast to the belief that enlisting in the armed forces while DADT was in effect was...
Chanel N° Shit
(Written some time ago but never posted)
Having pretensions to class isn’t the same thing as actually having any. If you don’t know how to spell Vuitton you have no business buying one. If you don’t understand why Chanel jackets have chains embroidered into the hems, then you don’t deserve to wear one. I live in Southern California, where the only thing brighter...
Jess Leave Her Alone
I take issue with people saying things like “I don’t want that lesbian in the Domino’s commercials making my pizza.”
If you say that and mean it, you’re a closed-minded moron.
If you say that as a joke, you’re a moron.
If you say that and you’re gay, whether you mean it or not, there is something seriously wrong with you. Has it been so long since you...
Door to Door Atheist →
Athiests in Arkansas?
Today, on campus, I picked up a copy of The Arkansas Times, what seems the local equivalent to The LA Weekly. It featured, on the cover, a large photo of Kirk Dixon, a retired banker and member of the ASF (Arkansas Society of Free-Thinkers). Mr. Dixon was holding up a twenty dollar bill with the word “God” in the motto crossed out, underneath which he had written “Separation of...
“I love Britney because she is an amazing entertainer who has really been through...”
February 2011
1 post
"But she supports gay people!"
I don’t much care for Lady Gaga. I find her music extremely danceable, but that’s about the best I can say for her. I find her fashion to be atrocious, her makeup to be (while extremely well-executed) disastrous, and her tone of voice to be unbearable. “But she supports gay people,” some of my friends will say to me. Well… is that enough? Lack of support...
December 2010
2 posts
Revisiting Kurtness
Upon reflection (and lots of Glee watching) it occurs to me that I would love to be as comfortable in my skin as someone like Kurt. I would love to be able to say “get me to a day spa, stat!” without thinking “gosh, what are people going to think of me if they hear me say that?”
That’s real courage, to just be who you are, rather than trying to mold yourself into a...
Heterophobe
I’m not seriously heterophobic. If such a thing even exists. Let me start with that.
There are a lot of men in the gay community that espouse disdain for straight people and the lifestyles they live. I think this is farcical for the most part. Obviously there are some things about what is commonly referred to in societal vernacular as the “straight lifestyle” ...
October 2010
2 posts
Zombie
This fellow who I had asked out, and who had accepted, and said he thought I was cute and stuff, apparently met someone else he likes better, and is currently trying to figure out how to tell me this. I found that out from one of my other friends at the bar last night. I just get so in my head when those kinds of things happen that I can’t enjoy myself at all; I had to leave.
I just...
Kurtness
Obviously I love Glee. I talk about it all the time; all of my friends know I adore it. It’s probably my favorite show on television.
A few years ago, I used to love Will & Grace. That’s another show I said was my favorite show at the time.
I struggle all the time with my sense of masculinity. I don’t really feel like a man. It’s not that I feel like a woman,...
August 2010
1 post
“I realize that my viewpoint on this issue is unpopular in the extreme in the gay...”
– Me.
June 2010
1 post
Someone, anyone...
…get me on Glee.
This show is amazing. It’s so relevant it’s insane. Sure, it’s packaged in a gorgeous candy-colored confection crust, packed with song and dance and pretty boys and girls… but it’s real in a way. The feelings and the relationships are all so beautifully portrayed that even if I *wasn’t* obsessed with broadway in particular and...
May 2010
2 posts
“We all know what we are allowed to say…
And we all know what we want to...”
– Me.
Mother's Day
I suppose the worst part of not having my mother anymore is that whatever I know about her now is what I will know about her for the rest of my life. People may be able to tell me things about her that I don’t already know, I guess, but it won’t be the things she never told anyone. The things she would have told to me.
If we had the time.
December 2009
3 posts
Gay Mens is Retarded
I was on Chelsea Lately, a show on E!, a few times. As a result, I received quite a few friend requests on MySpace and Facebook and made a lot of new friends. One such friend made a fan page for me on Facebook dedicated to getting me back on Chelsea Lately. This particular fellow was from the same town as I am, originally, and was very cute, and I got pretty flirty with him over some time. ...
“There’s a lot of diversity to be found in West Hollywood. There’s...”
– Me!
Off-Target.
I went to Target today in an attempt to buy a Snuggie.
First off, I want it to be known that I didn’t buy it for me. I would never, EVER wear a Snuggie. I’d sooner put on my big floppy Cacharel sweater I got at the Goodwill for eight dollars. I bought it for my Grandfather, who is ill and gets hot and cold and hot and cold so my dad thought this would be a good idea for him. I...
November 2009
2 posts
“My name is Gypsy… Roast… Beef. What’s yours?!”
– Me. That’s my drag name, pigeons.
2 tags
Reflections on the Mormon Church
Sometimes I get up in the morning and read a bunch of shit on Huffington and Drudge that really steams my clams. I’m sure you all remember the gay couple harassed for sharing a chaste kiss in the Plaza near the Mormon temple in Utah. Well. My clams have been good and steamed about that one for a while.
HOWEVER.
Anger isn’t the answer. As much as I want to tear that temple down,...
September 2009
16 posts
Ella Fitzgerald - Got to Get You Into my Life →
Pretty much. Yeah. Listen to this with your eyes closed, imagining this is the theme song to the sitcom based on your life, which takes place in the 1970s. Trust me.
“I would never be so un-gallant as to suggest that a lady looked anything other...”
“At this point, Kanye West’s douchebaggery is about as surprising as Clay...”
– ME.
“I would wear him like a scrunchie.”
– True Blood
Hey, East Coast. Shut the Fuck Up.
I realize that a lot of my posts have to do with etiquette and manners in general. I think that in today’s world, we have so many social situations that didn’t exist when basic rules of behavior were laid down that many people don’t know how to behave sometimes.
That being said, it’s clear that someone needs to take the reins here and start telling people what to do. ...
2 tags
Straight Mens is Crazy, but Gay Mens is Stupid.
Here’s the thing, pigeons. Once we reach a certain age, “I’m sorry,” just doesn’t cut it. It’s not like when we were eight and spilled grape juice on Auntie Mildred’s hideous Escada evening gown at your cousin Sheila’s wedding that Millie has been planning since her first ultrasound. When that happens, you just look up at Aunt Mildred with your...
“I used to be a twink. Or rather, I would have been if I were stupider,...”
Regarding Enchanted
(Idina Menzel [left] as Elphaba in Broadway’s “Wicked”)
Why hire a woman like Idina Menzel, a Broadway star, to act and that’s it? I think we can all agree that acting on stage and acting on film are two different things, and I think we can all agree that hiring someone with talent like Idina’s and then not taking advantage of it is criminal.
CRIMINAL!
Super...
“You need a filter.”
4 tags
I Miss Trix
I know they still make Trix. You don’t have to tell me they still make Trix.
I miss REAL Trix. The puffed, spherical Trix, that looked like Kix, but in colors. Not this bullshit fruit-shaped Trix.
It’s occurred to me that the title of this blog, if you’re gay, makes you think I’m about to write about missing cheap sex with strangers.
Who misses that? I don’t...
“I am the Muhammad Ali of Bloggers. In the sense that I believe myself to be the...”
Hello, Lance Bass; I'm a douche.
Were you into magic as a kid? I used to be. I just loved magic. I would practice and practice my tricks until I had them down pat. Then, of course, I would go to show someone: a parent… teacher… friend… whatever. And you know what happened? Of course, the trick totally bombed and made me look like a miserable failure of a magician. But this has happened to all of us…...
La-Z-Boy (this is a text convo)
Dustin: Skipping gym - just found out dmv is ready for me. Will have matt drop me off there in a little bit. think u could pick me up after?
Geoffrey: You are the laziest man alive. You are texting me from another room in the same house. Technology brings us... closer?
Dustin: I just didn't wanna put pants on ;)
Geoffrey: And you say this to make you sound *less* lazy?
Say it Right
You can’t talk to a guy all night at two separate bars, kiss him goodnight, and then complain about how he wouldn’t leave you alone all night. I mean, I suppose you can, but I certainly won’t consider it valid. If you don’t like someone, find a way to extricate yourself. If you’re alone it’s harder, certainly, but when you’re with friends there’s...
“Why does second nature mean the same thing “natural” means? ...”
August 2009
12 posts
“When I write, I like it to be superbly communicative.”
I Like Big Heads...
and I cannot lie.
Honestly, I do. I’m not being vulgar, and I’m not talking about egos, either. I seem to be attracted to men with abnormally large craniums.
I’ve only ever really had two boyfriends in my life, and both of them were about an inch shorter than me, and at several times either remarked on their own that they had a big head, or my friends would say something...
4 tags
“You’d think more straight men would be into gay sex, just because...”
“Without question, love in its various permutations is what we need more of in...”
– Hugh Hefner
1 tag
3 tags
Straight Mens is Crazy
So I just posted a link to one of my favorite websites ever, textsfromlastnight.com, which you should totally check out at your earliest convenience. The site consists of reader-submitted text messages from… last night, you guessed it! At least in theory anyway; I mean it’s pretty clear that a smattering of them are made up, but the real ones are the funniest shit ever.
...
Texts From Last Night is the Best Thing Ever →
I laugh out loud almost every time. You straight guys is crazy!
3 tags
This is a Poem
tomorrow night i’m going to a martini bar frequented, most frequently, by divorcees and the men who like to charge them for sex.
my best friend Kelly has chosen to have her birthday party there.
so i’m spending tomorrow with my married best friend, her husband,
all her straight girlfriends,
all his straight guy friends,
and a bunch of horny forty-year-olds and college boys who...
2 tags
5 tags
The Christians are Right
And the Mormons, too.
So here’s the thing. I was at Fubar last night; it was the anniversary of B.F.D. (and if you don’t know what that stands for, I’m sorry, I’m not going to tell you) and it was busier than a pharmacist the morning after prom.
Lord knows, I love me some mens. They’re terrific. I like all kinds, I’ve never had a “type,” I think...
4 tags
Divalepsy
I decided today that I would start a blog. Starting blogs isn’t as easy as someone might think. I for one thought it would be super easy, judging from the amount of total morons (I almost typed total half-wit, but how would such a thing be possible?) who seem to be able to publish them.
First things first, I thought. Gotta have a name. I started by asking my friends which words popped into...